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Abarai Renji
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3rd-Apr-2007 08:15 pm - Archive Post #8 (January-March)
I tried to get back into that room with the food, but I hide to hide from an Academy student, and I went into the wrong place.  This place had stairs, and I heard some pounding coming from somewhere at the bottom, so I went to check it out and see if there was any food down there.  There's wasn't any food, but I found a weird little room, and there was a bald guy inside passed out against a glass door.  I tapped on the glass to wake him up, and he did wake up, but when he did he started shouting that some girl had locked him in there and asked me to get him out.  I wasn't sure that I wanted to do that, I mean, how did I know he wasn't in there for a perfectly good reason?  I was getting tired of getting dragged into all of these adults' problems, but I decided that it would be safe enough for me to let him out.  He didn't really look crazy (despite the number he did on that little room) and I figured that I could outrun him if he tried to attack me, so I opened the door to let him out but took a few steps back just in case.  He thanked me for letting him out and then told me that his name was Madarame Ikkaku and that he was a samurai, but that didn't make any sense, there aren't any samurai in Rukongai, and I told him that even if he counted the shinigami, he still didn't look like he was from Seireitei.  He then told me that he didn't know where I was talking about and that he'd never met any shinigami, and so I realized that he's human, but he doesn't look like the other humans that we'd met earlier.  They were wearing funny clothes, Madarame-san is dressed normally.  Then he asked how we get out of here, so I said that I'd go to find a way out, which I did.  It wasn't easy, though, because there was a huge metal door that I could barely lift, and then at the end of the hallway there was a weird staircase that led into a big room with weird carriages in it.  I went back to tell Madarame-san, but I didn't see him right away because he was in that weird little room again.  Adults can be so strange.  So then I showed him the way out.  He seemed really interested in the weird carriages, but I wasn't, and I wanted to find Rukia again, so I looked around for a door and finally found one.  I made sure that Madarame-san saw where the door was too, so he wouldn't get stuck in there.
I looked around the yard for Rukia, and I was happy when I found her in the garden.  I know I should have apologized to her for running off, but I didn't.  She didn't seem too mad though.  She did start yelling about how we needed to follow the others because kids keep disappearing, but she didn't have time to explain because we had to run to the house to keep up with the others.  We ran after them up to a weird room, and I almost ran into Rukia, I didn't, but I stepped on something and fell on my butt.  Then Rukia found a colorful little block thing and asked if it was food, so I picked one up but it didn't really look or smell like food, it didn't smell like anything at all.  The other kids seemed really excited about all of the stuff in the room, so I asked what it was.  The man with the girlie hair showed us that the blocks are for building things, but that didn't look fun, so I went and found this thing that was a lot of fun to jump on.  Rukia jumped on it with me too, but then the other guy said something about a rabbit and Rukia ran to his side because he was reading a book.  I mean, I know how much Rukia loves rabbits, but still, why is everyone else more important than me?  Weren't we having fun?  But I went down and sat on the floor near them, but not too close.
12th-Jan-2007 11:01 am - Archive Post #7 (October-December)
So much food!  I thought maybe I had woken up in Seireitei because I imagine there's as much food as you could ever want to eat there.  But then, how did I get here?  I grabbed as much food as I could because, well, that's just what you do when there's that much food.  Of course, there was the chance that I'd get caught, but it might even be worth it.  Rukia's here too, and that's a big relief.  And there's this girl named Tatsuki.  I didn't see her at first because I was so excited about the food.  She started asking me why I was hiding food in my kimono.  How's that her business?  Tatsuki's younger than us and acts a little weird, and she's sort of a know-it-all I think, but Rukia seems to like her, and Rukia suggested that we share our food.  I didn't want to, but I can't really say no to Rukia either.  Rukia had a carton of berries that neither of us could get open, and then Tatsuki opens them as if it's the easiest thing in the world.  Hmph, but the berries were really good.  Then I tried some of the crispy shrimp-flavored things, and they were really good too!  They made my mouth dry, though, but amazingly Rukia already knew how to get water out of the shiny metal pump thing.  The water was so clear and it tasted better than any water I've ever had before!  Then I found this thing next to the pump that sprayed water, and I sprayed Rukia and Tatsuki with it!  They looked so funny wet!  But then Rukia kicked me off of the counter and I landed on some of the food!  Dammit, Rukia!  And the berries squished all over the front of my kimono.  After that Tatsuki wanted to go clean up and find a room for bathing?  Ugh.  But Rukia really wanted to see that room, so she followed Tatsuki, and I didn't want to lose Rukia so I followed her.
This place is so big!  I wonder what it is?  And there are so many strange things in it, like this weird glass vase.  But then I heard Rukia and Tatsuki get excited about something and when I caught up to them again I saw this huge blue pool of water!  It was amazing!  Rukia jumped in, and I did too, making sure to splash her, of course.  We didn't get to enjoy it for long, though, because these two men showed up and started asking us questions.  I told him our names and that we didn't live here, but then I was confused because I thought we were in Seireitei.  But both of the men had on Academy uniforms, and the dark haired man said that it definitely was Seireitei.  I don't trust adults, but he was an Academy student, and that's pretty cool.  And he could tell that Rukia and I had reiatsu, so we both showed him that we can make orbs.  And I really wanted to know more about the Academy so I asked Kyouraku-san some questions, and he answered them.  But then he went over to talk to his friend before I could ask any more questions.  If I went to the Academy and became a shinigami then I wouldn't have to worry anymore.  But I could never leave our friends, and especially not Rukia.  She's good, she could go to the Academy too, but I don't know if she wants to, and I can't bring myself to ask her.  She knew something was up, though, and she splashed me and I splashed her back, but still couldn't tell her what I was thinking.  Hopefully someday I'll be able to tell her how I feel.  But, first, there was this really cool-looking thing at the other end of the pool, it's some kind of slide.  Rukia almost beat me to it, but she stopped to talk to the other man, who I guess was upset because his friend left.  I don't know, and I don't care.  The slide was fun, but since Rukia wasn't playing too, I just got dressed and sat against the wall.  And then the other man left too, and he did say good-bye to me and apologized for not getting my name, and what was his, hmm, Ukitake-san?  I told him my name but I think he was already gone.  Then Rukia was saying that I was still dirty and now wet too, and I told her that she didn't look much better, but then I saw a cupboard with fuzzy cloths in it, and I found a fuzzy kimono.  I think Rukia wanted one too, so when she and Tatsuki ran off to find Ukitake-san, I stayed behind to find one for her too.  It's yellow with white bunnies on it, she loves bunnies, and she seemed really happy when I gave it to her.  And I was not blushing!  Then Tatsuki started talking to this mean-looking man, who was clearly not an Academy student, so I didn't trust him.  The man said that Tatsuki was from his world, so I was confused, and then Rukia scolded me and said that of course Tatsuki was from the living world.  How was I supposed to know that?  Then this other girl fell and scraped her knee and they were making a big deal over it.  It wasn't even that bad.  The mean-looking man had really long hair that made him look like a girl, so I told him that, but he ignored me.  Then Rukia and Tatsuki started to pick on my because of my hair.  My hair does not make me look like a girl!  And I wash my hair as often as Rukia does; my hair's just really stiff.  Rukia loves to pick on me in front of people.  Anyway, we need to get home.  And I didn't want to get picked on anymore, so I decided to go off and look around this place on my own.  Maybe I can figure out how to get out of here.  Wouldn't Rukia be proud of me then!
5th-Nov-2006 02:07 pm - Archive Post #6 (October 1st-19th)
oh shit.
Dammit, why didn't Kuchiki-taichou say anything to me when he walked by?!?  I was sure he'd yell at me for something.  (Really, how bad is it when I get upset that my taichou doesn't berate me?)  Then Ichigo showed up but was really only looking for his Quincy friend; although he did say something to me about having a ring, but I had no idea what he was talking about?  This isn't anything like the one wedding I attended in Soul Society.  I'm so lost!  But I don't want to mess it up for Rukia's sake!  Ichigo really wasn't very helpful, though, he just told me to do whatever the priest says.  So basically I'm screwed.  Oh, the Quincy kid did show up; I really don't know if it's possible for two people who like each other to look more awkward with each other than he and Ichigo looked.  Damn, I hope I don't look like that with Rukia.  Ikkaku gave me some really helpful advice not to get bent out of shape about the whole thing since it won't even be binding.  Yeah, that didn't make me feel any better.  But it's not like he's the one who's supposed to get married (fake or not) to the woman of his dreams in just a few minutes.  Shit, Kuchiki-taichou came back.  But wasn't I upset just a minute ago that he didn't say anything to me?  He informed me that he's only "...playing along with this wedding idea because it seems to be what our captors want," and that if I did anything to dishonor Rukia or her reputation, he'll know about it.  I've stood up to him before, why should this be any different?  I told him that I didn't do anything with Rukia that I regret.  He did not buy that answer.  And he seems to know that something did happen.  Oh shit, does he really know what happened in the alley or at the strip club?  (If he knew about either I'd think he'd have already killed me.)  So then, what?  Should I tell him what happened?  I banked on the fact that Kuchiki-taichou wasn't going to kill me in front of all of these people.  (Ok he might in another circumstance, but at the moment it would probably make our captors mad.)  And so, I quickly made an insane confession about the alley and then the bachelor party.  I wasn't able to stick around to hear Kuchiki-taichou's reaction to my confession, because there was another announcement, and Ichigo interrupted our conversation to drag me to the altar.  (Thanks, man, I owe you one!)  At that point I was really nervous, but I'm pretty damn sure that Ichigo called Kuchiki-taichou "Hair Curlers."  Wow, that's a new one, and I hope he didn't hear that.  While Ichigo, Ikkaku, and I were waiting by the altar, Ikkaku told us to watch out for missiles in the flower arrangements; he was pretty sure they were Kuukaku-san's but still.
Rukia looked absolutely amazing as she walked down the aisle!  I just had to tell her that she looked beautiful, even though she was scowling at me.  The moment was completely ruined, though, when Aizen rose up out of the floor on some weird machine.  I started to draw Zabimaru so I could go after Aizen, but when the lights went out, I decided the best thing to do would be to get Rukia to safety, so I threw her over my shoulder and ran for the main doors.  She protested at first, but then she started to throw explosives and kidou attacks at Aizen.  There were explosions all around us, and while I couldn't actually see what was happening back at the altar, it was pretty clear that it was on fire.  Kuukaku-san really thought all of this out.  As we got closer to the doors, Ikkaku appeared to open them for us, but when he walked through he was brought down by a barrage of darts!  Holy shit!  I have to find another way out!  I have to get Rukia out of here!  Kuukaku-san then used her Sand Wave technique to blast through the wall, but as she walked through, she was hit by the tranquilizer darts too.  The darts were starting to fly inside as well, and Rukia pointed to a passage along the wall that we should have been able to get to, but even as she was telling me to go there she was hit by one of the darts.  It didn't take long for it to affect her, but like hell I was going to leave her there and run like a coward.  I drew Zabimaru and did my best to clear the air of the darts, but those bastards were shooting me from behind too, and there was nothing I could do.  With my last bit of strength I placed Rukia on the ground and gently kissed her head.  I'm sorry it ended like this, Rukia...
1st-Oct-2006 04:51 pm - Archive Post #5 (September)
oh shit.
At first when I saw Rangiku in the cake, I wished I had a camera so I could take a picture to show Hitsugaya-taichou.  Something wasn't right, though, and I couldn't shake the feeling of dread as Rangiku made her way towards me.  And now that's it's all said and done, I'm grateful that no one had a camera to have a record of what happened next.
Being buried in Rangiku's cleavage and covered in cake isn't something that a guy can just forget, but for the sake of any hope of a future with Rukia, though, I am really trying.  I'm not sure how successful we were in making it look like it was only a joke, but that was the only way we could pass that whole thing off.  Of course, Ikkaku wouldn't stop laughing about it, but I made him pout when I threw some icing at his bald head.  Although, at first he wanted to yell at me about it, but I tried to do my best imitation of the Kuchiki Deathglare (but I don't think anyone knew that's what it was), but it was effective enough to shut him up.  Also, this was one of those times when I wished Yachiru-chan was there to gnaw on his head, that was always sure to put him back in his place, plus it's funny as hell to watch.
At that point everyone was leaving and I at least wiped the icing off of my face, but didn't really care about cleaning up any more.  (If I had known we'd be stopping to pick up Rukia on our way, I would have done a better job, that might have spared me some grief later on.)
Really, I want to know why in the hell anyone would let Ikkaku drive!  He's a madman when he's sober let alone after he's had a few drinks!  Even if Ryuzoji/Kurosaki-san was drunk as well, at least he knew how to actually drive.  Unfortunately, at the time I was more interested in getting back to Rukia (and taking a shower) than protesting the choice of driver, so I just got into the van, sat by a window, and tried to avoid making eye contact with anyone.  We got off to a rather bumpy start, thanks to Ikkaku, but then I saw Rangiku running behind the van, so I yelled at him to stop, which he did to let her get in.  Dammit!  She had taken a shower!  When she got in I considered hiding under the seat with Ichigo...oh yeah, he was acting a little strange, mumbling about "noboobies," but I have no idea what happened to him.  Of course Rangiku had to sit beside me, but she seemed back to her old self, and she even apologized for what had happened, which she really didn't have to do; I already knew that it hadn't been her fault.  I said some stuff that probably sounded idiotic, but she seemed to understand.  I did manage to get her back a little bit when I purposely bumped into her when Ikkaku made a hard turn and got icing on her (again, wish I would have known about picking up Rukia, because I wouldn't have done that either,) but we still had a nice laugh about it.
But then Ikkaku crashed into the spa, and I hit my head on the window, which hurt, and yet not as much as being the recipient of the Kuchiki Deathglare from Rukia.  I didn't even had time to properly enjoy watching Rukia kick the crap out of Ikkaku.  When she gave me the cold shoulder again, I knew I had to do something, so I started to apologize profusely and told her that it had all been a joke.  That didn't really help because she just yelled at me about having a horrible sense of humor, which I admitted and then blamed on the 11th Division, which Rukia, thankfully, accepted.  And she even smiled at me again, which I have to say was a big relief.  But, if Ikkaku tells the rest of 11th Division what I said, I'm most certainly a dead man, I can only hope he didn't hear me.  Rukia started going on about some TV show or something, so I looked out the window and became very worried that we were driving on a dirt road.  There was no way that could possibly be right.
And it wasn't because within a few moments we were plummeting over the edge of a cliff.
We didn't die, though, and now I find myself standing with Ikkaku in some sort of building with colorful windows, and I'm all cleaned up and very well dressed, and oh yeah, incredibly nervous.  Ikkaku reminded me that that's because I'm getting married to Rukia today.  Oh shit.  That's right.  Kuchiki-taichou's little glance was also quite unnerving.  Maybe I should just run away and hide.
3rd-Sep-2006 09:46 pm - Archive Post #4 (August)
You can't be serious...
Yeah, so I really need to get out of here before I do something that I'll regret.  These strippers are not making it easy though!  I got myself a beer and tried to keep an eye on Kyouraku-taichou's and Ukitake-taichou's group since they seemed more important than the rest of the madness in the room.  Certainly more so than the two kids on stage or Ichigo and his friend and Ikkaku.  But...I guess I'm a stripper magnet, or maybe they were told to hang around me; this is supposed to be my bachelor party.  And so I found out that strippers like to show off their tattoos, no matter where those tattoos are.  And this one stripper had a tattoo of a snake, just thinking about where it's head was...*blush*  I need to get back to Rukia!  At the time I just needed to get away from the strippers, so I made up some lame excuse that I had to talk to Kyouraku-taichou, which I didn't; I just figured that it was safer over there.  Then I saw Ukitake-taichou across the room romancing a stripper, which was quite strange, especially considering how he and Kyouraku-taichou were acting earlier.  But I suppose I shouldn't have even questioned it, because then we all were exposed (not sure if that's the word I want, but it works) to a special striptease by Kyouraku-taichou.  None of the older guys seemed phased by that at all, I mean, Kyouraku-taichou does have a reputation, so I shouldn't have been too surprised, and I do at least know when to keep my mouth shut (ok sometimes, anyway) so I didn't say anything.  Oh but then, a large cake rolled out onto the stage, bumping into the kids and that wasn't the strange part.  Rangiku's face was planted into the cake, and I have no idea what Yoruichi was trying to do.  I just had a bad feeling when I saw Rangiku, which was weird because I was practically fantasizing about her earlier. 
3rd-Aug-2006 09:22 pm - Archive Post #3 (July)
You can't be serious...
From the way the conversation was going, I was pretty sure that Kyouraku-taichou was joking about throwing me a bachelor party.  I mean, it did sound fun in theory, but we all have more important things to worry about or maybe we don't.  Plus, Ukitake-taichou didn't seem very happy about Kyouraku-taichou suggesting the party.  It's not my place to say anything, but those two have been really touchy with each other in public; that's probably because we've all been acting strange, but it is still kind of weird to see.  Anyway, then I went to find Rukia, and I saw her inside the kitchen hugging Kuchiki-taichou!  Talk about acting strange!  I got her attention, and she came outside, and I found her sitting up in a tree.  That really reminded me of the old days.  I wanted to talk to her about the whole marriage thing, though, and I really wanted to find out what she thought about it.  We did both agree that we're not ready to get married, and things seemed to be going well.  Then, as always I said something stupid and upset her.  I didn't mean to; I was only joking, but she was really mad at me about it.  I thought of a few lame excuses to try and get out of it, but I realized, especially when she started to cry, that I should just apologize.  I am so glad that I apologized!  She forgave me and kissed me.  It was amazing!  It's like we were continuing from where we left off in the hot tub.  When she asked me if there was something else I wanted to talk about, I tried to pretend like I didn't hear her so we could continue, but I knew I had to say something.  We talked about whether we should go along with the wedding or not, and we decided that we should.  I don't really think the marriage would be binding since we sort of had to get married in this weird place.  I am hoping there will still get to be a wedding night.  I swear it's killing me how badly I want Rukia.  And we were so close!  
Ok, so the bachelor party was not a joke and apparently someone let Ikkaku plan on how to get me there, (although I didn't know that was the reason Ikkaku did the things he did until later.)  I'm still trying to think of a way to get him back for that little "surprise."  I mean, dear god, Rukia had just taken off my pants, and I was, to say the least, pretty excited about where things were going to go next, but then that pain-in-the-ass Ikkaku jumped out from somewhere and threw a hood over my head and tied up my hands.  Then he dragged me to a van and threw me inside.  I yelled at him, of course, but at that point there wasn't much else I could do.  I did, however, want to die when I realized that practically all of the other guys were in the van as well.  My only consolation was that they couldn't see my face with the hood on, and thankfully I didn't have to see their reactions.  And since Ikkaku was laughing like a maniac (what else is new?) beside me, I couldn't tell if anyone was saying anything or not.  When the van stopped (it wasn't a very long drive, and I don't know who was driving but they were driving like they were possessed) Ikkaku sort of helped me out and led me inside a building.  Bastard wasn't considerate enough to pull my pants up before that, though; I had to do that after he untied me and took off the hood.  I was speechless when I saw that we were in a strip club.  Rukia is so going to kill me.  I just hope that she kills Ikkaku first so I can see it.  It seems that Kyouraku-taichou did arrange for me to have a bachelor party after all and even got us a private lounge.  I seriously considered leaving so I could find Rukia, but I thought that would be rude since Kyouraku-taichou went to all of this trouble.  That, and I'm weak.  I tried my hardest not to get turned on by the girl dancing in my lap, but I couldn't take my eyes off of her.  But something really disturbing happened while I was watching her dance; I found myself thinking about not her, not Rukia, but rather Rangiku!  What the hell!?!  I've never thought about Rangiku like that before, and I can't imagine why I would start now.  Whatever the reason, it can't be good, and it will no doubt only get me into more trouble with Rukia.  I just know I'm dead when she finds out about this.
I wonder if I could get a memory chikan that would work on her?  That's probably not a good idea either.  Man, I need to get out of here before I do something really stupid.
4th-Jul-2006 08:44 pm - Archive Post #2 (June)

I'm still just trying to figure out how all of this wedding madness started.
Oh yeah, it was Aizen.  Well, not exactly, but it would really make me feel better if I could blame the whole thing on him.
After our very unusual exit from the other place, I found myself sitting in a garden talking to myself and holding a plastic egg with one of Rukia's silly rabbit drawings on it.  I still don't know what kind of place we're in now, but apparently I'm some sort of detective and Rukia is a yakuza, which could understandably cause problems.  Fortunately, I'm able to control the detective personality somewhat, so I haven't done anything really stupid because of that.  (Everything stupid so far has been all me.)  So, Aizen, er, landed in the garden and started going on about how he was going to marry Rukia and about Rukia being a murderer.  I was really mad at him, but before I could do anything, Ryuzoji/Kurosaki-san showed up, and started to yell at Aizen.  Then he started to yell at me and was mad at me when Aizen disappeared.  Like it was my fault!  He's the one who showed up and interrupted us!  After he left too, I decided to look for the others and found Rukia, Orihime-chan, and Ichigo, oh and some pregnant girl, in the kitchen.  I was still pretty shaken up from what Aizen had said, and I might have said some crazy things to Rukia, and as usual she let me know I was acting like an idiot.  I can always count on her.  For some reason, I just had to ask her about the egg, and that's when she told me that in this world she's a yakuza.  That wasn't comforting, but at least she was honest with me.
It was at that point that we decided to take the conversation outside so we could have some more privacy.  Rukia found a tub that's like a hot spring, and she got in, but I didn't want to be left out so I got in too.  It hadn't really occurred to me that we would both be naked in the tub, but we're both adults and managed to stay pretty mature about it.  Being together like that did remind us of how things used to be when we were kids in Rukongai, and how we haven't been able to hang out like we used to.  It must have been because of these feelings that I told Rukia how I really felt about her.  She seemed pretty surprised, but she took my confession pretty well.  Actually, much better than I thought she would, I really should have told her how I felt sooner.
Everything was going so well with Rukia in the hot tub, but I'm not going to go into it because some things should remain private.  That is until your captain who also happens to be your girl's very strict older brother shows up.  Talk about one hell of a mood killer.  I suppose I really shouldn't talk about Kuchiki-taichou like that, but I didn't even get to hear what Rukia had to tell me.  And it did look like Kuchiki-taichou was about ready to kill me, which was why Rukia fired a binding spell at him so I could escape.  That was a sweet and brave (read stupid) gesture, but there was no way I could leave her there by herself to deal with Kuchiki-taichou.  I'm thinking now that maybe I should have fired a binding spell on him too, and then grabbed Rukia and ran like hell.  That might have spared us from his "decision."  I've always had feelings for Rukia, but of course I was never able to tell her how I felt before, so what happens right after I do?  It's decided that Rukia and I have to get married.  I'm still in shock.  And I'm still confused.  I can't imagine that Kuchiki-taichou would ever actually let Rukia and I get married even if we really wanted to.  I may be his vice-captain but I know I don't meet him standards.  Of course, I could argue with him about how he married Rukia's sister in the first place, but I doubt that would get me anywhere.  But anyway, the point is that I don't want to marry Rukia, at least not right now.  We had only just kissed for the first time minutes before but damn what a kiss!  And then as if Kuchiki-taichou's decision wasn't bad enough there was that horrible announcement that told EVERYONE about it.  Afterward I just couldn't manage to talk to Rukia about it, so I just hung out in the garden where I just couldn't stop thinking about what had just happened.
Then Kyouraku-taichou showed up and almost sat Ukitake-taichou on me.  Ukitake-taichou was having one of his coughing fits.  I was a little worried that they were there though since there was something in that announcement about Ukitake-taichou kicking my ass, but it turns out that neither he nor Kyouraku-taichou were interested in doing that.  Instead they offered to help, and gave me some advice (and Ukitake-taichou said that he knows Rukia likes me, which was a relief to hear.)  I thought about things, and I don't really think Rukia wants to get married either, but she doesn't want to upset Kuchiki-taichou.  And I don't want to hurt her feelings, so I'm still stuck at the moment.

3rd-Jun-2006 11:35 pm - Archive Post #1 (May & June 1st)
Well I was stuck in the trunk of a flying car, which for some reason was really hard to get out of. I guess no one heard me yelling, and I think that's because there was sound-proofing in there, which is really weird, and it made me wonder what sort of people that car belonged to. But I got out just in time to see everyone (it was hard to tell who everyone was except by their reiatsus) attacking Aizen, and I really wanted to attack, but all I could do was yell something stupid at him, and then I had the urge to steal his wallet. I mean, WTF? I hope we're able to get out of here soon, and get our own bodies back. I know Zabimaru can't wait to get revenge on Aizen, and neither can I.
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